The countdown clock to Christmas is ticking. With only two sleeps to Santa’s big night, the better be good bribes, threats, and bargaining chips, are falling faster than snowflakes in a blizzard.
My husband and I haven’t been on Santa’s route for a few years, so I haven't spent much time thinking about staying in Pere Noel’s good books. In fact, I would still be blissfully forgetful, if it weren’t for the arrival of our kids for Christmas. Having an excited four-year-old bouncing around the house is an instant memory restorer. Yes, the cats are treading carefully, and the gingerbread house looks like it’s been hit by a slow-moving tornado.
Yesterday, I heard my daughter drop the Santa bomb. “You’d better be nice, Santa’s watching.”
Of course, he is. Don’t forget, he knows if you’ve been good, bad, or even, indifferent. But how does he know? Our little munchkin hasn’t puzzled that out yet, at least, not out loud. Maybe she’s still thinking it over. There’s no obvious spy watching, no elf lookout, stationed in the tree, reporting back to the girth-challenged man in the red suit.
What do kids think about spying elves? When mom or dad leave the room, does little Johnny grab a chair, climb up, and turn the spy around so he can't see what's happening behind his back? Or does little Johnny arrange for the spy to take a fall. Maybe that’s why Santa doesn’t send out scouts made of glass. There were too many injury reports being filed at the North Pole human resources office.
Does Santa need spies if he already knows when you're sleeping, or awake? Then again, is that any different from having a security camera inside your house? I mean, Santa is already tapped into the power of social media and the web. With the touch of a key, he can email, text, or Facebook message little Johnny to let him know that he’s aware of recent behavioral challenges. Does this mean Santa is now Big Brother?
So far, I haven’t heard our daughter use any outright Santa threats, just the odd reminder that Santa is coming, no full on or else’s. She doesn’t have an elf spy, and hasn’t put the jolly old man on speed dial. She has something else in her “better be good” bag.
It's the Santa threat she received when she was her daughter’s age. We were at a craft fair, and my sweet little munchkin was behaving like the tired, cranky preschooler she was. Anyone who’s had the pleasure of spending time with an over-tired kid can imagine the scene.
“Try and be good,” my friend coaxed. “The Santa birds are watching.”
Santa birds? Yes, Santa birds. This is the time of year when Santa goes ninja. He hires flocks of birds to keep an eye on the kid situation. So, you’d better be good, the Santa birds are out there. Step out of line and their airflock will be winging north to report to the big man.
So here’s to a Merry Christmas! By then, the Santa birds will have gone to roost!